When I first found out I was pregnant and I was going to become a mother, I had already begun thinking of things I wanted for my son. I wanted him to be smart, bold, fast, strong, confident, healthy, well-rounded, sensitive, yet unwavering. Quickly I found that the list of “wants” for my child was actually never-ending, it was all encompassing, and by this nature…overwhelming. So I began to think, how can I concisely focus my intent for my child while also still allowing for his own “wants” to shape his choices?
It came to me that Christmas. I was halfway through my pregnancy and a fellow teacher had invited us over for coffee and snacks and a surprise serenade by herself and her acoustic guitar-playing friend. She said she had asked him to play and sing for us and he agreed, just like that. No hesitation or anxiety or excuses, he didn’t have to know who we were or what we were about beforehand to perform his humble songs. He just showed up and brought his light. And I was genuinely moved by their vulnerability in music.
“That’s it.” I thought. That is the essence, the essential, the ever-enduring non-tangible wish I would place in my heart for my son. That whenever someone, a friend or a even a stranger, called upon him to shine his light, whatever that light may turn out to be, that he gladly accept and be vulnerable enough to share it, and genuine enough that sharing it doesn’t deplete him, but actually restores him."
Let your light so shine before men..." Matthew 5:16
I have two young sons, ages six and four. From pregnancy and beyond, they have been mirroring back to me more than I ever could have dreamed of learning about myself and my own growth. As we grow together through this life, I hope to always mirror back to them the same inspiration, strength, and wonder they have shown me.