I was in college the first time I was ever exposed to the warning signs of a codependent relationship.
I had already graduated by the time anyone was talking about professional leadership development.
I majored in Psychology which led me to a fascinating wealth of information concerning human growth, development, and interpersonal relationships. But I faced a pervasive belief that a Bachelor's in Psychology is worthless.
I cannot tell you how many young professionals I have encountered, when I disclose I majored in Psychology and minored in Studio Art, they quizzically ask, "What do those two have to do with each other?"
But the real question is, what does psychology NOT have to do with? To me, it is connected to literally every other aspect of life.
Seriously, who does not love Tom Hanks?
What makes him so lovable and relatable? It could be his humor, his vulnerability, the common theme of the roles he plays having problematic egos that are still somehow incredibly endearing.
The following quote from him has always resonated with me, especially as it comes from someone so widely loved,
In college, my first studio art class was Foundations of Art, a very basic and very low stress learning atmosphere. To say I was excited was an understatement. Here I was in real deal art school, with my sharpened colored pencils and orderly watercolor trays and brushes. For our very first assignment, our professor asked us to fill a blank page with designs using only a black, permanent marker. Simple enough, right?
That's when it happened: pure and complete paralysis. What do I draw? How do I draw it? With a marker? A permanent marker? Unable to erased? To exist in time and space forever?
Inspired by this quote I decided to curate my own list of children's books that may superficially seem like light hearted, entertaining stories, but when held up in a different light, actually contain profound truths about our world and our lives that we grapple with on a daily basis as adults.
The unique capacity of children to understand concepts far beyond their years is something I think we should take note of and try to emulate as adults, lest we become too restrictive in our thoughts and self discoveries and deny the inherent wisdom we've all had since we were children.
I know what you're thinking.
Right out of the gate, a major writing faux pas - quoting Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken." Could there be a more clichéd, overused, and comprehensively mastered statement in all the English language?
But just wait.
Frost message contains more than what you may have uncovered in Poetry Analysis class and the message is anything but trite. He is speaking more subtly to a specific audience. In this instance, "the one [road] less traveled by" does not mean to take the road fewer choose, but to see the path no one else sees, to hear a call no one else hears, and to pursue it.
These days, we have access to a multitude of problem solving resources. When we have a problem, we could come up with limitless combinations of solutions. But, either to curb our overwhelm of information or by the limits of our own perspective, our awareness is sometimes blind to the true extent of the options available to us. I tend to blame it on a long-standing system of standardized education in which there is "only one best answer."
One reason entrepreneurs go into business for themselves is because they do not take direction very well from others. I have heard it time and time again from small business owners, their prior employment always came with difficulty with superiors because either they could not be satisfied with mindlessly carrying out a task on someone else's timetable or they felt they could do a better job as a leader.
While it can create some growing pains in the early professional career, this quality is actually a positive marker for entrepreneurs. It's what allows them to see the big picture, think creatively, solve problems efficiently, and bounce back when things get tough.
I have spent the majority of my life rejecting being a writer.
First of all, my mother, father, and older sister were all writers. Deterrent number one.
I wanted to be my own self, an individual, something new and different.
My husband and I recently took our young son to a long, flat stretch of empty parking lot to teach him how to ride his bicycle without training wheels. We knew he was ready, he showed all the signs, he just needed a little space and practice to really get going on his own.
We talked it up as it took a few minutes to remove the training wheels, my son practically doing jumping jacks in excitement. He strapped on his helmet, helped unload his bike from the truck's tailgate, and in one, clear instant, I saw his affect shift.
"I can't do it." he looked at me with pleading eyes. "I won't do it. Put the training wheels back on."
I recognized what he was feeling immediately.
Nothing is worse than sitting across the table from someone who may actually have potential for a position you are trying to fill and yet, you are finding it a struggle to connect or generate any meaningful conversation about whether or not this is a good match for either party. This happens more often than not to small business owners and sadly, it can end up being a major time waster for the employer and the candidate, neither of whom are usually in a position to be wasting time.